In response to some events that have happened at school recently with M, I find myself back in the research game. It's been a while since I've done the type of in-depth research I'm doing now, and while I'm doing it, I might as well share the resources I have found! I'll certainly be sharing them with the school...
Dr. Russell A. Barkley click here for his website is one of the foremost researchers in the field of ADHD studies. He's been doing this since the 70s I believe, and has a website absolutely full of information that is useful.
Specifically, I'd like to draw your attention to these items:
*The Importance of Emotional Impulsiveness in ADHD: Implications for Diagnosis and Management (VIDEO of a lecture, lasts a little over an hour)
*ADHD Fact Sheet
*80+ Classroom Accommodations for Children and Teens with ADHD
*The Important Role of Executive Functioning and Self Regulation in ADHD
In addition to this new and interesting research into ADHD, I'd also like to point your attention to Sensory Processing Disorder (also called Sensory Integration Disorder). I have another blog I'm writing called Shorty Got to Move, and it's about our journey with a child who has ADHD, ODD and SID.
M was diagnosed with SID back when he was 6 I believe (he's almost 10 now). We noticed that he liked to crash into walls, doors, people, etc; and had some other behaviors that we now know are "sensory seeking" behaviors. We did some work with an Occupational Therapist over that summer almost 4 years ago and stopped doing it for some reason or another...I really don't remember. Fast forward to now and we're doing OT again.
We started going back to OT not for the sensory issues, but actually at the behest of our new therapist for something called The Alert Program. This is a pretty cool program that teaches kids ways to get their "engines" running at a level that is appropriate to the situation in which they find themselves. It's 2 fold though - not only do they learn to self monitor AND self regulate their "engines," they also learn, through the use of 2 way headphones and music, to focus the brain on the appropriate sound. The headphones have music streaming in, but during the OT session, the child has to make himself focus on the OT's voice instead of the music. It also activates the hairs in the ear canal.
As far as the sensory issues go, M is still a sensory seeker. Though the OT says that the sensory part is probably very small in the scheme of things, getting it under control through a sensory diet, fidgets and other means, may help M feel more in control at school and at home. We will see...it will be a week or so before we get the diet.
In any case, I highly recommend Dr. Barkley's site.
Friday, February 4, 2011
Sunday, January 16, 2011
I never knew
how challenging it would be to be a parent.
I never guessed there would be this much heartache involved. This much soul wrenching pain. Really, I never guessed.
My older kid has been going through some stuff these past few days, and I...well, I don't know what to do anymore.
He's severely ADHD, with a side order of sensory processing disorder. To most people ADHD means that the kid is a hyper pain in the ass. But that is SO not all of it. Yes, my kid is hyper, but what lots of people don't understand is that there are sooo many other things involved. Impulsivity to the point of truly not being able to control yourself at times, poor planning, lack of inhibition, lack of forethought...and my beautiful child exhibits most of these things on a daily basis. And it hurts him. And I hurt for him.
We're also learning (again) that his sensory processing disorder really does have an impact on his behavior and ability to be in control of himself. At the suggestion of our new therapist, I made an appointment to have him re-evaluated by an Occupational Therapist. And the things I thought had gone have simply morphed. Loud noises still bother him, he still seeks sensory input in ways that most kids don't, and some other stuff that I can't think of right now. But all of these things, on top of the ADHD, are really impacting him - academically and right now, maybe more importantly, socially.
This is not a kid who seeks solitary activities. Oh no - this is a child who want, no NEEDS social interaction with other kids. But what he's finding out is that because of things he's done recently and in the past around the neighborhood, kids either aren't comfortable with him being in their house or playing with them, OR they simply won't play with him anymore.
He's 9, but he's making the mistakes a 6 or 7 year old would make. And it's not because he's a horrible, malicious child. When he's "on", this child is a ray of sunshine. He's helpful, wants to please everyone, playful, etc. But most people can't see past the things he is having trouble controlling...taking things that aren't his, playing a little too roughly, lying, etc. Hubs and I are at a total loss as to why he continues to do this. Intellectually he KNOWS these things are not ok, but I honestly think he simply can't stop himself from doing them. And it really fucking sucks.
Last night I had a dream about leaving...just leaving and starting fresh somewhere new. Today, I guess hubs was in a pissy mood because I'd been working all day, so he'd been taking care of the kids, they weren't listening and he yelled at the kids. They both cried and ran upstairs. Little one comes down and tells me big one just wrote a note saying he was going to run away. My sweet baby was feeling so low about himself and his situation that he wanted to RUN AWAY. I know that's probably normal kids behavior at some point. Hell, I remember doing it...but as a parent, it's frightening. So I gathered him up in my arms and told him that my heart would break into a million tiny pieces if he ever ran away, but I also told him that I totally understood his want to remove himself from this difficult situation he's gotten himself into.
I can't tell you the number of times I've told him to stop lying, taking stuff, etc, punished him, given him consequences, etc...he knows all this, yet keeps doing it. A book I'm reading says to let him suffer the consequences of his own mistakes, especially when he's young. The cost will be lower now that it would be learning these lessons at 25. But what if he doesn't learn these lessons? What's his life going to be like? Yes, I borrowing trouble by trying to look ahead. And honestly, I usually don't because my outlook on what his life will be like seems to change minute by minute. But tonight, my kid said he wanted to run away.
I'm feeling pretty sad tonight. Troubled.
But tomorrow I'm going to show my kid that staying positive is possible, even when things get rough. That people WILL forgive him his trespasses if he tries to show them that he's sorry. I am going to try very hard to change my parenting and see if I can help him become as good on the outside as he is on the inside by modeling the behaviors better that I want him to mimic. And mostly, to help him figure out that he is a good and worthy person, no matter what he's done in the past.
I never guessed there would be this much heartache involved. This much soul wrenching pain. Really, I never guessed.
My older kid has been going through some stuff these past few days, and I...well, I don't know what to do anymore.
He's severely ADHD, with a side order of sensory processing disorder. To most people ADHD means that the kid is a hyper pain in the ass. But that is SO not all of it. Yes, my kid is hyper, but what lots of people don't understand is that there are sooo many other things involved. Impulsivity to the point of truly not being able to control yourself at times, poor planning, lack of inhibition, lack of forethought...and my beautiful child exhibits most of these things on a daily basis. And it hurts him. And I hurt for him.
We're also learning (again) that his sensory processing disorder really does have an impact on his behavior and ability to be in control of himself. At the suggestion of our new therapist, I made an appointment to have him re-evaluated by an Occupational Therapist. And the things I thought had gone have simply morphed. Loud noises still bother him, he still seeks sensory input in ways that most kids don't, and some other stuff that I can't think of right now. But all of these things, on top of the ADHD, are really impacting him - academically and right now, maybe more importantly, socially.
This is not a kid who seeks solitary activities. Oh no - this is a child who want, no NEEDS social interaction with other kids. But what he's finding out is that because of things he's done recently and in the past around the neighborhood, kids either aren't comfortable with him being in their house or playing with them, OR they simply won't play with him anymore.
He's 9, but he's making the mistakes a 6 or 7 year old would make. And it's not because he's a horrible, malicious child. When he's "on", this child is a ray of sunshine. He's helpful, wants to please everyone, playful, etc. But most people can't see past the things he is having trouble controlling...taking things that aren't his, playing a little too roughly, lying, etc. Hubs and I are at a total loss as to why he continues to do this. Intellectually he KNOWS these things are not ok, but I honestly think he simply can't stop himself from doing them. And it really fucking sucks.
Last night I had a dream about leaving...just leaving and starting fresh somewhere new. Today, I guess hubs was in a pissy mood because I'd been working all day, so he'd been taking care of the kids, they weren't listening and he yelled at the kids. They both cried and ran upstairs. Little one comes down and tells me big one just wrote a note saying he was going to run away. My sweet baby was feeling so low about himself and his situation that he wanted to RUN AWAY. I know that's probably normal kids behavior at some point. Hell, I remember doing it...but as a parent, it's frightening. So I gathered him up in my arms and told him that my heart would break into a million tiny pieces if he ever ran away, but I also told him that I totally understood his want to remove himself from this difficult situation he's gotten himself into.
I can't tell you the number of times I've told him to stop lying, taking stuff, etc, punished him, given him consequences, etc...he knows all this, yet keeps doing it. A book I'm reading says to let him suffer the consequences of his own mistakes, especially when he's young. The cost will be lower now that it would be learning these lessons at 25. But what if he doesn't learn these lessons? What's his life going to be like? Yes, I borrowing trouble by trying to look ahead. And honestly, I usually don't because my outlook on what his life will be like seems to change minute by minute. But tonight, my kid said he wanted to run away.
I'm feeling pretty sad tonight. Troubled.
But tomorrow I'm going to show my kid that staying positive is possible, even when things get rough. That people WILL forgive him his trespasses if he tries to show them that he's sorry. I am going to try very hard to change my parenting and see if I can help him become as good on the outside as he is on the inside by modeling the behaviors better that I want him to mimic. And mostly, to help him figure out that he is a good and worthy person, no matter what he's done in the past.
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Political Quiz
I took this quiz and the results were interesting:
My Political Views
I am a center-left moderate social libertarian
Left: 1.1, Libertarian: 2.18
Political Spectrum Quiz
Foreign Policy:
On the left side are pacifists and anti-war activists. On the right side are those who want a strong military that intervenes around the world. You scored: -3.87
My Foreign Policy Views
Score: -3.87
Political Spectrum Quiz
Culture:
Where are you in the culture war? On the liberal side, or the conservative side? This scale may apply more to the US than other countries. You scored: -6.03
My Culture War Stance
Score: -6.03
Political Spectrum Quiz
compare:
My Political Views
I am a center-left moderate social libertarian
Left: 1.1, Libertarian: 2.18
Political Spectrum Quiz
Foreign Policy:
On the left side are pacifists and anti-war activists. On the right side are those who want a strong military that intervenes around the world. You scored: -3.87
My Foreign Policy Views
Score: -3.87
Political Spectrum Quiz
Culture:
Where are you in the culture war? On the liberal side, or the conservative side? This scale may apply more to the US than other countries. You scored: -6.03
My Culture War Stance
Score: -6.03
Political Spectrum Quiz
compare:
Monday, October 18, 2010
Can we ever win?
Doesn't seem like we can.
The first week at school that M was on his new medication, it seemed to be working well. Now it seems that it isn't working so well...she says that from 10/13 to present, his behavior has deteriorated. And she filled out a new Conners rating scale and some stuff is WORSE than it was at the beginning of Sept. I wonder if she was in a bad mood when she filled out the scale or if this is accurately represented...I just don't know anymore.
I can't believe a medication can lose its efficacy that quickly. Maybe there is no satisfying this teacher. Maybe this *still* isn't the right dose. Maybe this isn't even the right medication.
I *think* it's working better than the Vyvanse was, but maybe not. At least he seemed to be even with the Vyvanse.
We see the psychiatrist this week, so I'm sure we'll be on the next dose up starting soon.
Have I mentioned how much I hate ADHD? It really sucks.
The first week at school that M was on his new medication, it seemed to be working well. Now it seems that it isn't working so well...she says that from 10/13 to present, his behavior has deteriorated. And she filled out a new Conners rating scale and some stuff is WORSE than it was at the beginning of Sept. I wonder if she was in a bad mood when she filled out the scale or if this is accurately represented...I just don't know anymore.
I can't believe a medication can lose its efficacy that quickly. Maybe there is no satisfying this teacher. Maybe this *still* isn't the right dose. Maybe this isn't even the right medication.
I *think* it's working better than the Vyvanse was, but maybe not. At least he seemed to be even with the Vyvanse.
We see the psychiatrist this week, so I'm sure we'll be on the next dose up starting soon.
Have I mentioned how much I hate ADHD? It really sucks.
Tuesday, September 21, 2010
Day Five...Concerta
Color me surprised. M on 18mg of Concerta for 2 days wasn't the hellish experience I was expecting. He was actually pretty ok.
Today is day 3 of 27mg, so tomorrow we start on the 36mg dose that we've been building up to.
The only real negative I'm seeing is a reemergence of facial tics. But I don't feel too worried about that as we've seen transient facial tics with almost every medication he's been on. They seem to be mostly related to him feeling stressed or tired, and today he is *definitely* worn out. Not only that, but he's not in his normal routine this week, which always makes him feel more stressed than usual.
Overall I don't have a feeling about the Concerta one way or the other. It doesn't seem to be *that* much better than Vyvanse, but we also aren't on the therapeutic dose yet. We may see that 36mg is fantastic as compared to the 50mg of Vyvanse we were on before.
Today is day 3 of 27mg, so tomorrow we start on the 36mg dose that we've been building up to.
The only real negative I'm seeing is a reemergence of facial tics. But I don't feel too worried about that as we've seen transient facial tics with almost every medication he's been on. They seem to be mostly related to him feeling stressed or tired, and today he is *definitely* worn out. Not only that, but he's not in his normal routine this week, which always makes him feel more stressed than usual.
Overall I don't have a feeling about the Concerta one way or the other. It doesn't seem to be *that* much better than Vyvanse, but we also aren't on the therapeutic dose yet. We may see that 36mg is fantastic as compared to the 50mg of Vyvanse we were on before.
Friday, September 17, 2010
Day One...Concerta
Today is day one of trying M on Concerta. Things aren't going great at school, and the psychiatrist is worried about lots of things after seeing the Conners rating scale the teacher filled out.
M unmedicated is not a pretty thing. Since we're starting at 18mg of Concerta, I think the next 2 to 3 days are going to suck for all of us royally. I don't mean to be negative, but we've been through medication changes before and they weren't pretty.
What I'm hoping is that the Concerta, even though we've tried it before, will hit different receptors in his brain than the Vyvanse did, and that we'll see some of the behaviors that are causing school/friend/etc issues will lessen.
This is a work in process, as is any ADHD medication. Today and tomorrow we'll do 18mg, then Sunday or Monday we'll go up to 27mg. Two to three days on 27mg and then it's up to 36mg for the next 10 days. After that, school will be back in and the real test will begin. We'll see in which areas the meds are helping and which they aren't. We'll decide whether to increase the dose to 45mg or 54mg. We'll also see if we need to tweak the times he gets his meds. There's the possibility that we'll do a short acting in the morning and the long acting at lunch...but for now, we're trying the long acting in the morning and continuing with the short acting in the afternoon as usual.
Wish us luck.
If Concerta doesn't work, we go back to Vyvanse until school lets out again in December...then it's on to Focalin.
Have I mentioned how I much I hate having my kid on meds? It drives me nuts. I hate that he has to take medication to make him "socially acceptable." But I continue the meds because I believe there are children in this world who need medication to function...and children aren't equipped to not be accepted by others. And if this helps him function and gain acceptance from his peers, then this is what we'll do. We've tried everything else...diet, exercise, behavior modification...and on their own, the ends don't justify the means.
While I hate any child to be on medication, I also believe that it's not just about the child. It's about the family. If having a child (or parent) on medication is what's best for the family AND the child, then so be it. We have medications available to us for a reason.
M unmedicated is not a pretty thing. Since we're starting at 18mg of Concerta, I think the next 2 to 3 days are going to suck for all of us royally. I don't mean to be negative, but we've been through medication changes before and they weren't pretty.
What I'm hoping is that the Concerta, even though we've tried it before, will hit different receptors in his brain than the Vyvanse did, and that we'll see some of the behaviors that are causing school/friend/etc issues will lessen.
This is a work in process, as is any ADHD medication. Today and tomorrow we'll do 18mg, then Sunday or Monday we'll go up to 27mg. Two to three days on 27mg and then it's up to 36mg for the next 10 days. After that, school will be back in and the real test will begin. We'll see in which areas the meds are helping and which they aren't. We'll decide whether to increase the dose to 45mg or 54mg. We'll also see if we need to tweak the times he gets his meds. There's the possibility that we'll do a short acting in the morning and the long acting at lunch...but for now, we're trying the long acting in the morning and continuing with the short acting in the afternoon as usual.
Wish us luck.
If Concerta doesn't work, we go back to Vyvanse until school lets out again in December...then it's on to Focalin.
Have I mentioned how I much I hate having my kid on meds? It drives me nuts. I hate that he has to take medication to make him "socially acceptable." But I continue the meds because I believe there are children in this world who need medication to function...and children aren't equipped to not be accepted by others. And if this helps him function and gain acceptance from his peers, then this is what we'll do. We've tried everything else...diet, exercise, behavior modification...and on their own, the ends don't justify the means.
While I hate any child to be on medication, I also believe that it's not just about the child. It's about the family. If having a child (or parent) on medication is what's best for the family AND the child, then so be it. We have medications available to us for a reason.
Tuesday, September 14, 2010
Me and my Vitamin D
I had my Vitamin D level checked for the first time probably a year or so ago, and it was low. So the Dr put me on 50,000IU/week for 12 weeks. I guess it went up because then she told me to take 2,000IU/day. Then I had it checked again during one of my regular checkups, and it was low again. Back to the 50,000IU/week for 12 weeks. It went up. I started taking the 2,000IU/day again. Had it checked again and it was low, but I guess not terribly, so I've been taking 3,000IU/day for a few months now.
I went to my Endocrinologist to have my thyroid checked (I'm hypothyroid and have some nodules on my thyroid) and he offered to check my Vitamin D at the same time as my thyroid levels since they had to draw blood anyway. It's low. Again. So now I'll be taking 50,000IU TWICE a week for 12 weeks.
I wonder what it is with my body that I can't keep my Vit D level consistent. It's just weird. Maybe getting out and biking more would help...exercise, sunshine...
I went to my Endocrinologist to have my thyroid checked (I'm hypothyroid and have some nodules on my thyroid) and he offered to check my Vitamin D at the same time as my thyroid levels since they had to draw blood anyway. It's low. Again. So now I'll be taking 50,000IU TWICE a week for 12 weeks.
I wonder what it is with my body that I can't keep my Vit D level consistent. It's just weird. Maybe getting out and biking more would help...exercise, sunshine...
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