Check me out!

10.1 miles today! 62 minutes. 9.76mph

Aren't you proud of me? 33.8 miles in the past 6 days.

I would have gone further, but the sun was starting to set and I don't trust the Fuquay-Varinians to see me. Hell, I almost got hit by a fucking semi standing at the corner of Ennis and Main. And I was OFF MY BIKE to cross the road!

Sometimes you have to prove things to yourself

and today was one of those days for me. I haven't ridden any length worth mentioning since April 7...today is April 26. Something is wrong with the air conditioning in the house and it's like 87+ degrees outside, thus hot in the house...and moods were flaring around here. So I took that as a sign to get my big ass out of the ass and on a ride. I was going to do my normal 8+ mile ride around Fuquay, but really really wanted to see if I could do 10. I knew if I challenged myself I could probably do it.

I got around Fuquay and back to my neighborhood with no problem - in fact, I purposely passed my street entrance and went to the neighborhood behind mine because I wanted those extra miles. I got to 8.6 and thought I was gonna fall off my bike. So I stopped, drank some water (I drank close to 100oz of water on my ride today - it was HOT and I was sweating like the cow I am), and rested for a couple minutes, then went on my way. 8/10 of a mile later, I was telling myself that "I can't do this...I really can't do this"...then it was "shut up and ride bitch! You can do this!" So I rode up the hill toward my house...another 1/10 of a mile and really really considered giving up. But I didn't. Instead, I rode around at a nice pace for the last 7/10 of a mile and was thrilled to see TEN MILES pop up on my cyclometer.

I rode for over an hour...it may not sound like much to some, but for me, it's a marker in my riding showing that I CAN ride 10 miles - and it wasn't all flat.

I'm proud of myself. And fucking sweating my ass off!

On a side note, I've got a good farmer's tan going and some really cool tan lines from my Keens on my feet. Pictures coming soon. :P

You and your chain tool

A chain tool is a good thing to have in your pack when you ride. Why? No fucking clue. But the man on expert village told me so.

See, I wanted to learn about my chain (since it gets yanked so much :P), so me being the Internet Guru I pretend to be, I looked for help online. And found a video that said "Jodey...use thy chain tool on thy Crank Brothers 50 gajillion piece tool thy has in thy new Camelbak." So I did. And now I understand how a chain is put together.

I think a lot of bike maintenance is learning by fire...just dive in, try it out and hope like hell you don't fuck it up. And if you do, thank God for the guys (and girls, of course!) at your LBS.

I am kind of excited that I figured this out by myself. Gives me hope that maybe I'll be able to change my own tires when I decide to go to those Small Block 8's I've been eying....or if, God forbid, I have a flat on the trail.

Rode with Maggie today

After taking the little one to school and snoozing on and off for an hour and a half, I got my ass in gear and met Maggie at the American Tobacco Trail for a long (for me) ride. I think we got in about 6 miles - some at a good pace, some fairly slowly. We talked...a lot...and it was good. I needed to spill some of the shit in my head to someone and she has a really good way of listening and explaining things to me, along with great suggestions that I am going to try like hell to put into practice.

I didn't take my camera this time - just wanted to ride without having a reason to stop (though we stopped a few times cuz this big girl ain't used to going 6 miles in one shot) - and regretted not taking it. I haven't been out to ATT in a while and had forgotten that there were things off the trail that I've been wanting to take pics of...oh well. Next time.

It was a good ride. Good friend. Good talk. Good pedaling.

Now I just have to get my head back together enough to not let what's bothering me break my concentration on the trails at Harris...not sure I'll be able to do that, but I'm gonna try. I've actually been enjoying my time on flat surfaces - road and ATT - but it's time to get back to real trails with real dirt.

Lake Crabtree and broken toe

I called Maggie this morning and asked if she would like to ride with me at Lake Crabtree today...she agreed. We got there around 12:15pm, looked up at the sky and watched the snow start to fall a little. As we got up to the trail, it started snowing in earnest...for a whole 5 minutes.

I really think I've lost my biking mojo. Maybe not having biked for 10 days and having been sick for almost 3 weeks has done something to me...but I was not "on" AT ALL today and it fucking pissed me off, pardon my language.

I can see the point some people were trying to make on a thread on Trianglemtb.com a week or so back about not riding out of your comfort level...or at least not TOO high above it. Maybe Crabtree is out of my comfort zone or maybe Maggie is right - I look at the trail and get overwhelmed instead of taking it piece by piece. I think I expect myself to be able to get out there and hammer through these things, even though in my head I know I can't and shouldn't be able to. I see all these other people who make it look so easy and I get pissed off and start feeling inadequate about my skills. So I think for a while I'm going to stick to Harris...no matter how boring it gets for me, and master it. I am going to work on my endurance, weight loss and skills. I will persevere and I will succeed...I'm just a tenacious bitch like that. :P

Ok...enough of that. NOW...let's have a pity party. I'm pretty sure I broke my 4th toe on my right foot this morning. Not only that, but I split the top of it open and it hurts like a MOFO. Not only THAT, but yesterday, the fire safe fell on the same foot, across the area right below all my toes. Waaaaahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!

So the group ride...

...at Harris Lake today turned out not to be such a group ride for me. I guess it started as a group ride in that I was with a group in the parking lot and right at the start of the ride at the beginner loop...and then I found myself riding alone, at the back (which is where I prefer to be because I am slow) until I reached the first "major intersection."

When I got there, everyone was heading to the left, which meant they were heading BACK to the beginner loop instead of going right, to the first intermediate loop. Here's the map...I've written on it:


So every one gets turned around and over to the correct trail...and I'm by myself again, riding the first loop of the intermediate trail. Seriously, I couldn't see anyone. I had told Delia (the lady I was fighting with for rights to be last - LOL) to go ahead because I knew I'd be slow, but I expected to be able to see someone ahead of me somewhere! So when I got to the place on the map where I have written in purple-ish "where is everyone?" I heard Maggie calling my name. By this time I was muttering to myself "fuck this...I'm going home." It did a number on my confidence, I guess. Anyway, thank you Maggie for hanging out and waiting for me...I guess having ridden with me before, you knew I'd be lagging behind. :D

So she says "come on, let's go do this loop" and I tell her I'm not sure I want to...and I cried. Frustration...with lots of things...but mostly with myself. I asked her where everyone else is and she told me they had gone ahead to the advanced loop (see the map where I wrote in bright blue). At that point my head began to spin a bit...beginner ride...advanced trail...does not compute. But whatever...

Maggie convinced me to ride the second loop of the intermediate trail, and I did ride it. I walked a bit more than I'd like, but I still rode more than I walked. It's those damn uphills that kill me. I wish I had more time during the week to train on uphills...either over at Crabtree or at Umstead. But hey - I'm not in competition with anyone other than myself. So we finished up, and at the trail head ended up meeting Debbie. The three of us talked for a bit, then went our separate ways. I ended up taking some pictures of backlit trees in the dying light of daytime. I'll post them if they turned out any good. By the time I was putting my camera away, Maggie came back from her second ride of the intermediate loop and we talked for a little...then Kenny came back and we talked to him about his bike and his adventure on the advanced trail. I was very impressed that he was able to just hop on the bike after not having ridden for quite some time and do all the trails that he did (on an older, fully rigid bike). Then we all left.

I walked into a house smelling delicious because my husband was kind enough to cook dinner and watch the kids so I could go out and do this group ride. The chicken (2 different kinds people!) was amazing and the potatoes were yummy. :) Thanks hubs!

Not sure I'll be doing group rides again in the near future. I think I'd rather just get together with certain people and ride onesie-twosie...if they can stand the way I ride, that is. :D

Beginner Ride at Harris Lake Tomorrow

And I've decided to go. Maggie's going too. But she's WAY better than me...she just does stuff, where I have to stop and really psyche myself up. Like that damn bridge on the intermediate loop. I can do it...I know I can, but I still have to get mentally ready to do it.

So it's supposed to be a ride targeted to beginners, so it's a no drop pace. Which is good. I never hammer. Though I have been trying to get myself to go faster on the beginner trail...and I have been because I'm comfortable there and can do it. The intermediate trail...well...I'm not too bad on the first loop. I still don't hammer, but I think it took me around 15 minutes to do both the beginner and first loop last time I did it. I was surprised at how little time it was.

I think this ride is supposed to last an hour to an hour and a half...and be around 7 miles. I will do the beginner and both loops of the intermediate...but I doubt I'll be doing any of the advanced.

This is probably silly, but I don't really like riding with people I don't know. I don't know if other people feel like this, but I'm not in excellent physical condition, so I stop a lot. I walk some stuff on the trails because I'm scared to do some of the stuff...unless I'm really "on." Maybe tomorrow I'll be ON. I'd really like to be so I can show myself that I can do these trails again. Then maybe Monday I can hit Crabtree or something and start learning that place.

I'll probably go early to the ride because there is a big field by the trailhead and I'd like to practice standing and pedaling. It's something I never do...I'm not sure why, but I just never do. Maggie suggested I try it to get extra power. I usually just dig in and power through things sitting, but maybe standing will give me the power I need.

I think the friend thing is still on my mind. Just shut up Jodey...and publish the damn post. No details are necessary.

Struggling this morning...looking for that riding passion

Sad to think that I can allow personal life issues to affect whether I can ride or not.

Here again, I'm not relying on my own abilities to get myself going, but rather wishing for someone else to give me the attention and get-up-and-go that I need to do this.

I'm not feeling all that mature for a 36 yr old mother of 2. Maybe I should just go hide like I have been all weekend. That sounds like a fine idea. Drop the kids off at school and go back to bed. I'm tired anyway...went to bed at 7:30 last night, woke up at 9 for meds and went back to sleep...got up at 7:45 this morning. Not quite enough sleep, don't you think?

This is good...now I'm getting pissed off at myself. Maybe I'll go in spite of my own idiocy.

VERY seriously considering going to this

I'm totally psyched about it...and I really hope I can pull it off. My Dad, I know, will give me money to pay for most of it - the actual cost of the clinic is only $25, but gas and hotel will cost the most. I'll have to drive the Honda - it gets around 24mpg, and Greenville, SC is about 265 miles each way...so that's about $65 in gas (at today's $2.77/gal), if my math is correct. Hotels seem to be pretty cheap - I found one about 7 miles from Paris Mountain for $50/night. So I'll just have to pay for food.

I already talked to my Mom about watching the kids while hubs is at the ECU game on the 8th...hubs will watch them on the 9th and will take off work on the 10th so I can drive home that day.

So what's keeping me from doing this? I am. I'm not sure I want to go by myself. Firstly, I detest driving, and almost 5 hours each way is a long time for me to do alone. Secondly, I hate driving the Honda. And thirdly, I want to go ride on Saturday and won't have anyone I know to ride with if I go alone. But maybe this is a good opportunity for me to make some new friends from our sister SORBA chapter known as UpstateSORBA.

What do you y'all think? Should I do it? Is it worth it at my level of riding? At my weight? At my ability? I'm nervous about this, but I'm trying to get myself to work outside my comfort level.

And of course I'll take the camera...

Fat Chick Biker wants to know...

...how much does your mood affect your riding? Or is it the other way around? Or maybe a little combo of both?

I find that when I'm not in a great mood, my riding suffers. I'm not as confident, don't want to really try hard...just want to do the easy stuff and say I did a ride.

When I'm feeling like I was yesterday, really "on," my riding rocks. I was completely confident in my abilities (even in abilities I wasn't really sure I had) and felt like I could conquer anything...well, within reason, of course.

But sometimes, when I'm not in a great mood and I do get to get out and ride, it's just enough to take the edge off that moodiness and get me feeling ok.

I know that having someone riding with me encouraging me helps me a great deal both when I'm feeling it and when I'm not feeling it. But at some point, I want to be able to rely on myself.

That seems like a pattern in my life...needing to learn to rely on myself...from biking to having confidence about other things. It's a very hard thing to gain for me...and once I gain a little it seems that something happens that I allow to take it away. Kind of weird...most people think I'm quite the confident person, gauging from some of the photography I take. And I have become more confident, but I still find that confidence is based on attention from certain people.