Biking Mojo

I might have gotten a little teensy, weensy, tiny piece of my biking mojo back. The FCB Mojo Meter is at about 1 out of 10...ok, maybe 1.25.

I rode Harris yesterday and Jesus Christ was I tired. Just 2 laps on the beginner trail and I was wiped. Guess almost 2 weeks of no real riding will zap the endurance. Well, that and some medication that is totally whacked. I thought I loved the abilify...not so anymore, folks. Not so at all. In fact I wrote my shrink this morning telling her I want OFF of that shit b/c I want my energy back, among other things. That med, not riding and being sick are the things that have really reduced my endurance. I'm hoping that I will find that if she takes me off it and puts me on something else, I will regain what I have lost...at least a little.

Anyway, enough of the meds rant...that could take fucking DAYS if I go on. So I rode 2 laps - the first lap was ok...a little slow and I stopped at the place that always freaks me out. Yanno, the place between the trees. But I did the big rooty twisty place at the end that I always psyche myself out at. Second lap was better - did both places no problem, but had to walk one little hill. Just couldn't push myself to do it.

Funny - I got to the end of the first lap and saw a red sign attached to the map thingy that's there. It said something like "Caution - it's hunting season. Although we don't allow hunting on Harris Lake County Park property, there is hunting in the surrounding areas. Please make sure you wear appropriately bright clothing while using the Park." Lovely.

Lake Crabtree and broken toe

I called Maggie this morning and asked if she would like to ride with me at Lake Crabtree today...she agreed. We got there around 12:15pm, looked up at the sky and watched the snow start to fall a little. As we got up to the trail, it started snowing in earnest...for a whole 5 minutes.

I really think I've lost my biking mojo. Maybe not having biked for 10 days and having been sick for almost 3 weeks has done something to me...but I was not "on" AT ALL today and it fucking pissed me off, pardon my language.

I can see the point some people were trying to make on a thread on Trianglemtb.com a week or so back about not riding out of your comfort level...or at least not TOO high above it. Maybe Crabtree is out of my comfort zone or maybe Maggie is right - I look at the trail and get overwhelmed instead of taking it piece by piece. I think I expect myself to be able to get out there and hammer through these things, even though in my head I know I can't and shouldn't be able to. I see all these other people who make it look so easy and I get pissed off and start feeling inadequate about my skills. So I think for a while I'm going to stick to Harris...no matter how boring it gets for me, and master it. I am going to work on my endurance, weight loss and skills. I will persevere and I will succeed...I'm just a tenacious bitch like that. :P

Ok...enough of that. NOW...let's have a pity party. I'm pretty sure I broke my 4th toe on my right foot this morning. Not only that, but I split the top of it open and it hurts like a MOFO. Not only THAT, but yesterday, the fire safe fell on the same foot, across the area right below all my toes. Waaaaahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!

Beginner Ride at Harris Lake Tomorrow

And I've decided to go. Maggie's going too. But she's WAY better than me...she just does stuff, where I have to stop and really psyche myself up. Like that damn bridge on the intermediate loop. I can do it...I know I can, but I still have to get mentally ready to do it.

So it's supposed to be a ride targeted to beginners, so it's a no drop pace. Which is good. I never hammer. Though I have been trying to get myself to go faster on the beginner trail...and I have been because I'm comfortable there and can do it. The intermediate trail...well...I'm not too bad on the first loop. I still don't hammer, but I think it took me around 15 minutes to do both the beginner and first loop last time I did it. I was surprised at how little time it was.

I think this ride is supposed to last an hour to an hour and a half...and be around 7 miles. I will do the beginner and both loops of the intermediate...but I doubt I'll be doing any of the advanced.

This is probably silly, but I don't really like riding with people I don't know. I don't know if other people feel like this, but I'm not in excellent physical condition, so I stop a lot. I walk some stuff on the trails because I'm scared to do some of the stuff...unless I'm really "on." Maybe tomorrow I'll be ON. I'd really like to be so I can show myself that I can do these trails again. Then maybe Monday I can hit Crabtree or something and start learning that place.

I'll probably go early to the ride because there is a big field by the trailhead and I'd like to practice standing and pedaling. It's something I never do...I'm not sure why, but I just never do. Maggie suggested I try it to get extra power. I usually just dig in and power through things sitting, but maybe standing will give me the power I need.

I think the friend thing is still on my mind. Just shut up Jodey...and publish the damn post. No details are necessary.

Beaver Dam Adventure

Today Maggie and I hit Beaver Dam's mountain biking trails. Beaver Dam offers 4 different trails: Inner Loop (1.1 miles), Outer Loop (2.2 miles), West Loop (2.3 miles) and South Loop (6.8 miles).

Beaver Dam Trail Head:


Beaver Dam Directional Signs:


I have a great pic of Maggie, but she won't let me post it. :(

So now the story of the ride. I knew going in that Beaver Dam was going to be a little over my skill level and that I'd likely have to walk a bit...I was ok with that. When we got there, the we decided to do the Inner Loop since it's the shortest, and I *thought* would be the simplest. WRONG FAT CHICK BIKER! I'm not very comfortable on downhills as it is, and add in the monstrosities we call roots around these here parts and I was NOT a happy camper. And this was just getting to the actual trail!

About 15 or so minutes into the ride, I stopped and told Maggie that I just didn't feel right...I needed to desperately. So I took my meds, (remember I'm taking a new one, and this is only day 2) hoping that they would "fix" whatever issue I was having. No such luck. I was just feeling off the whole time. It didn't dawn on me until part way through the ride that I was still allowing a personal issue to color my riding.

We got through the trail...finally. And lemme tell ya folks, that is NOT a trail for beginners AT ALL. It's tight, twisty, fast in places...tons of roots on the uphills...stuff you need to either be able to power through or have enough momentum to go over. I walked probably about 1/2 the trail...mostly the uphills and a couple downhills. I did do stuff I wasn't completely comfortable with, and that was cool.

Getting back to the trail head was KILLER. The uphill was INSANE as were all the roots. I walked it. I think Maggie rode it. When we got to the top, she called a friend who said we should have done West Loop. WELL SHIT! We went over there and she did a bit of it, and I started a little, but really just wasn't interested. My head trips were fucking me up and it was time to stop before I got hurt.

My overall feeling of the trail is that, like I indicated, it is NOT for beginners (at least the trail we did). I'm pissed with myself for letting an issue with a friend undermine my confidence in my riding...especially because I was really looking forward to this ride today. It's a LONG way from my house - 40 miles each way. But at least I can say I did it. And I can say with absolute certainty that I will NOT be at the group ride on Saturday. Haha. :P

I'm sure at some point I'll try it again. But for now, I'm going to stick with Harris - nail down the 2nd loop of the intermediate trail over there; and start working on Crabtree a bit, I think.

While I was waiting for Maggie to arrive, I went to take the pictures you see above, and I met a guy coming off the trail. Right before he came out, these 2 HUGE wild turkeys went running through the woods. It was hysterical. And these other huge birds went flying out. Weird.

Went out and rode....

...and I had a good ride! :)

I did the beginner trail at Harris and guess what? I DID IT! You know that place I was talking about a few days ago where I ALWAYS stop? Well I didn't stop today. I slowed way down, like lidarman said to, and simply rode through it. So thanks for the tip lidarman! :) And of course after I did it, I let out a "WOOOOOOHOOOOOOO" so loud that I probably scared wildlife for miles. Tough shit. :P

Oh - and you know that place at the end of the beginner trail where I've never been able to get over the roots but I did the other day? I thought I'd introduce you to said roots. People, meet roots. Roots, meet people.



And now that I'm looking at them, they are NOT the right roots! Hahaha...but they are a good sampling of the types of big ass roots we have here in central NC. Next time I'm out riding, I'll be sure to stop and get the correct roots.

Here are some more pics of the beginner trail:
A bit of trail before a "bridge" type thing before a hella rooty uphill:


Near the beginning of the loop...a bit of up and down for fun:


I'm pretty sure this is the whoop-de that I like on the beginner trail...not very big, but it's enough for me:


Ok...so not only did I do that, but I rode the intermediate trail, loop 1, alone. Something in me said "fuck it...you GOTTA get some intestinal fortitude on your own Fat Chick Biker...you can't wait for someone else to give you that push." So I did. Granted, I didn't do as well as I did when I rode with Maggie, but I still did pretty well. I dabbed a couple times, lost my momentum once and walked a tiny bit up a hill until I could get the momentum up and I almost fell once. And I swear to you, if I had nuts, they would be a hurtin' right now. I was going up this hill that has a couple sharp turns and lots of roots and I guess I wasn't looking far enough ahead and I just about crashed...and crushed my invisible nuts (and thus my girlie parts) against the tube. HOLY INVISIBLE BALLS BATMAN! That hurt!

I got to the fork in the road



where you can go right and go to loop 2 of the intermediate trail



or go left and go back to the beginner trail, and for some reason, I chose to turn left.

Here are a couple of photos from the intermediate trail. I kept thinking to myself I should stop and take pics, but I was kind of on a roll and didn't really want to stop to take them! I even hit Wally Hell this morning to get a front pack for my beloved camera...I am not comfortable taking that much $$ in camera equipment on my back when I don't know the trails well...and plus that shit's heavy!. So I carried my camelbak (without water...don't ask) containing my extra tube, air pump, blah blah blah and hooked the new pack to the front of it with paper clips and spit. Ok...it wasn't that bad, but it wasn't completely ideal. It worked though and it was secure.

Oh...the photos:
Leading to the 1st bridge:


This is the bridge:


Jesus Christ...that post was a lot of work. I need a beer. Or sex. Or both. ;)

Struggling this morning...looking for that riding passion

Sad to think that I can allow personal life issues to affect whether I can ride or not.

Here again, I'm not relying on my own abilities to get myself going, but rather wishing for someone else to give me the attention and get-up-and-go that I need to do this.

I'm not feeling all that mature for a 36 yr old mother of 2. Maybe I should just go hide like I have been all weekend. That sounds like a fine idea. Drop the kids off at school and go back to bed. I'm tired anyway...went to bed at 7:30 last night, woke up at 9 for meds and went back to sleep...got up at 7:45 this morning. Not quite enough sleep, don't you think?

This is good...now I'm getting pissed off at myself. Maybe I'll go in spite of my own idiocy.

Mental Stoppage

So...for all you experienced biker type peeps out there, how in the world do you get past a block that is mental? For instance, that place on the beginner trail that I stop at every friggin' time...how do I get past that mental block I have?

Here's the weird thing about it - first I'll explain what it is, then I'll tell ya what's weird. So after I go down this nice little...I hate to call it a downhill...it's more like a very low grade hill and curve where you can pick up a bit of speed...after I go down that, there is a little twisty part where I slow down and change into the easy gears and get up a hill - the trees here are thick together and close, but not too close. At the top of this hill are two trees, one a bit bigger than the other, and they are on either side of the trail, but optically seem very close together. I can see where people have scrubbed their handlebars getting through them. So I STOP (every god forsaken time), walk through them (while I'm still ON the bike, just not RIDING the bike) and go along my merry little way.

What's the weird part then? On the intermediate trail, on this rocky/gravely part of the trail that has bigger rocks lining it, there are trees together that are just as close as those trees on the beginner trail...in fact, there are a couple spots like that on the intermediate trail and I have NO PROBLEM getting through them.

So what the hell is my deal? And how do I get past this? It's really freaking annoying.

Wah.