I'm a fat chick. I make jewelry with bike parts and chain maille. It's been a while since I've biked, but I'll get back to it. I'm bipolar. I'm opinionated. I'm compassionate. I'm passionate. I'm silly. I'm loving. Sometimes I'm just plain nuts. But I'm always me...for better or worse. Love all of me...you can't pick and choose.
Friday, December 18, 2009
Good Christ. Really? People do this shit?
Here's the article.
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Can't catch a fucking break
Same fucking shit, different fucking day.
M lost all his play time for the whole weekend. Yep - the WHOLE WEEKEND. And that was after me giving him opportunity after opportunity after opportunity to get his shit together. And therein lies the problem. He's gotten so used to having all these opportunities that he doesn't do what he's told until he knows I'm serious about the consequences.
It's weird though - after losing all his playtime tomorrow, something that's REALLY important to him, he continued with the bad decisions. When I got to Saturday's playtime, he freaked a bit, but STILL didn't do what I asked him to do. When I finally said I'm writing an email to Daddy to tell him you have no playtime for the whole weekend, then it's all "Mommy, I'll clean up" and "NO MOMMY! PLEASE!!" I don't know if it was the threat of losing the whole weekend of playtime or the threat of Daddy knowing that I took the playtime away (as if Daddy wouldn't know by tomorrow morning anyway).
And it's not like I asked him to paint the house for fuck's sake. I asked him to finish his dinner for an hour. And before you tell me to throw it out after a certain amount of time, my kid needs to eat. And he needs to eat protein. If he doesn't eat enough, he wakes up in the middle of the night and does god knows what while the rest of us are snoozing away. I've even been giving him a special "bedtime drink" right before bed of strawberry Kefir to help him stay asleep.
Oh - and I asked him to clean up the legos he had played with.
After I sent the email to Daddy, I was screamed at, my door was kicked and I was told that I'm MEAN. Do you know that there is no reasoning with a pissed off 8 year old? I know it now. I asked him if it was mean of me to give him so many opportunities to do what I had asked, then when he didn't do it, to take something away.
At some point I simply sent the kids upstairs. And I had my little freak out down here. I screamed. Loudly. And I slammed the door. Twice. And I kicked their god damn lego box across the room. Real mature, huh?
I'll be damned if I'm gonna sit up there with them tonight while they fall asleep. M came down, attitude in hand, and said J wanted me to come back upstairs. I said NO. He said why. I said because I have been treated poorly tonight by both of you and I can't take any more of it.
And again, I'm left feeling like a shitty parent. I'm beginning to not know which way is up with this shit.
I can't wait until our appt with Dr. B. next week. I know 1 appointment isn't going to solve the problems, but it will be start.
Fuck me. Maybe I need to go back to my therapist and work on some meditation or something.
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
I blame myself
Maybe if I'd pushed harder, I could have pushed him out. I pushed for 3 hours and just couldn't get him out. He was vacuum extracted and came out with a HUGE bruise on his tiny little head.
Tonight I know with certainty that I'm the reason he will struggle throughout his life. Struggle to do the things that come so easily to so many.
Tomorrow the sun will rise and with it my knowledge that it's not really my fault...that I'm borrowing guilt. But for now, this is what I know.
Tonight was really unpleasant and things got said that should have been phrased differently. Things that should have been teaching moments were angry and accusatory moments. It was one of those "WHY CAN'T YOU JUST DO IT!?!?!?!" nights.
I know the answer to that question and I still can't stop asking it.
Tonight I simply feel like a failure as a parent.
And still, my kid, after all the tears and yelling and defiance...once he calmed himself, still he wanted me to be near him; wanted me to sit next to him; wanted Mommy to sit with him while he fell asleep.
Tears. Me. Right now.
Saturday, December 5, 2009
I'm really proud of this.
Thursday, December 3, 2009
I was out, part deux
By the time the conversation was over, it was too late to go out for a ride. Maybe tomorrow.
I'm feeling sad for my kid. I know, I know...shake it off and toughen up. This is life and that's the way it is so suck it up.
To that I say: foxtrot oscar.
I'm allowed to feel sad for my kid. He's 8. I can't imagine him going through his whole life like this.
So anyway, I'm off to cry for a bit, then make dinner. Maybe some jewelry later.
I was out.
You're saying to yourself that you know I spent money on only things we need, not on things we want.
YOU would be wrong. I don't NEED the beading shit I got today. I wanted it. Ok, we did need some food for the kidlets to eat, so the $100+ I spent at Trader Joe's is ok...course it wasn't all for them, but whatever. We all have to eat. Even us fat chicks.
Speaking of which: All the way home from TJ's I was thinking I'd take a bike ride before I get the kids from school. For some reason, I just don't think that's gonna happen. I walked inside, got a bagel and cream cheese out of the bags I just purchased at TJ's and started eating lunch while putting groceries away. Now I'm all full of bagels and don't want to do anything but sit on my fat ass and make jewelry.
Granted, I need to make jewelry...but I also need to exercise. It's really quite annoying. I LOVE riding my bike, but for whatever reason, I've started thinking of it as exercise instead of joy. I hate exercise. It sucks. But I love riding my bike. So why is my brain doing this?
Maybe I should just tell my brain to STFU and go ride.
Argh. I hate fighting with myself. Especially over something I'll feel guilty if I don't do.
Ah well...gotta go put the cream cheese away. :D
Wednesday, December 2, 2009
Oh Dollar Tree, How Do I Love Thee?
1. Today I got "ornament holders" for...yep! $1 each. Cuz it's the Dollar store, doncha know.
2. Today I got TEN tiny little containers to put my jewelry shit in. Guess how much? ONE LITTLE DOLLAR!!
3. Today I got some fake pine garland shit so I can hang ornaments on it to take pictures. It was....A DOLLAR!
How can you not love Dollar Tree?
BTW...the ornament holders are going to double as jewelry holders after the holy-days.
Dollar Tree: Me love you long time.
Saturday, November 28, 2009
Well it's about damn time
BUT...it needed to be done. And hopefully I will get out and ride more often. I can feel the weight creeping up, and god knows I don't need anymore of that. I've got enough, thank you very much.
So yay for me for getting out there and doing it, despite the chilly weather this morning. :D
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
He's a Ballchinian
I'm letting my 8 yr old watch Men in Black II...we couldn't get MIB, so we settled for the 2nd one.
I walked in on the scene where Wil Smith says "He's a ball-chinian."
I looked up. And laughed inside...my little guy doesn't quite get the humor and there's no need to alert him to it yet.
As for me, I needed the laugh. And I took it. :)
NC State Farmers Market Fall Craft Fair
I got the email last night saying I'm in. Only one little issue, which may or may not be an issue at all - I'm not under the covered area. My Mom is bringing me one of those collapsible tent thingies, so hopefully that will work out.
I'm concerned that I don't have enough stock. I didn't want to make too much because I wasn't sure I'd be accepted; but now that I know I'm in, I need to make more stuff. Unfortunately, it's been a shitty few days that have left me feeling less than creative. And I'm one of those people who have a really hard time creating when I don't feel creative. I think part of it is my meds - I started taking the AD every other day instead of every day and I think it's catching up to me and my body is realizing that it's not enough. I'm going to go back to daily, I think.
Anyway, I need to make stuff. And get stuff together to take with me.
I find this hilarious.
I've had a pretty shitty few days. I had to boost these from Shine Out Loud cuz they made me laugh and sorta dance in my seat.
This one is by the same guy...not quite as funny, but it has a good beat.
Sunday, November 8, 2009
All of a sudden I feel like riding my bike...
I'm sure this sudden desire has to do with 1)not being able to; and 2)the gorgeous 70+ degree day we had today...and seeing all the roadies out enjoying the beauty.
I may drag the kids on a few short bike rides over track out.
Hubs doesn't get home early enough for me to ride while he watches kids in the afternoon now that the sun sets so damn early. Fucking winter.
I don't have lights and don't have money for them anyway, so that's out.
So the positive part is that while I may not be able to ride *exactly* as I *want* to, I can still ride. The kids can probably go a mile or 2 a day. It's something, right?
Saturday, November 7, 2009
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Damn me for not taking a picture!
Tea bags...like the family size Lipton kind.
Two thoughts went through my mind.
1. What the fuck?
2. Maybe this person likes to do the tea-bagging thing, which you can find out about here at urbandictionary.com.
If you have another idea, I'm all ears.
Friday, October 30, 2009
Get into the act with Spanky Pants
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Can we talk about toilet paper?
And while we're on the subject, you cheap bastards, do you think you could get some that you can't fucking SEE THROUGH? In this case, less is more if you buy the good kind. We'll use less and shop at your cheap-ass stores more.
Fuckers.
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Quitting
I'm kind of feeling that way right now. About a few things in my life. It's like I'm at one of those cartoon signs with arrows that point a hundred different ways. If you go that way, you may end up here; if you go the other way, maybe you'll end up there, but you might end up somewhere completely different.
It's the mystery of life, I suppose, not knowing what's ahead of us and only being able to look behind with some certainty. In the right now, it's the swirling mist of choices and where they may lead.
My heart is heavy right now...with these choices and decisions that need to be made. And that little voice in my head whispering "how did you get here?"
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
Monday, October 26, 2009
Some men can totally rock the lycra...
It's the whole crotch thing. Really. I have a hell of a time not looking at a man's junk when he's wearing lycra bike stuff. Not because I want to, but because I have to. It's like a train wreck. You don't want to look, but you can't help yourself.
And god forbid his junk looks interesting. Lord help you...or me. LOL
Aside from the junk issue, I have no problem with men wearing lycra...if they have those nice mountain biking leg/ass combos. Girls, you know I speak the truth when I use the term "eye candy."
Shit. Now I feel like a lecherous old man...er...woman.
But I can admit that I look at the junk. If you wear lycra around me, be prepared. I'm jus' sayin'.
Or, protect us all and just wear baggies.
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Wal Mart, oh Wal Mart, where hath thou found thy employees?
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Sometimes I have to laugh at myself
Ok...I don't celebrate Christmas...I'm not Christian, thus never celebrated it. Now I'm wondering if I'm behind the curve on making Christmas ornaments. Does being around them every year afford someone the knowledge of how to make them? LOL
I KNOW! Let's call it my Tim Burton-inspired ornament! Yeah....that'll work. :D
Here's a pic:
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
I might have gone a little far today
So I go to pick M up and I ask to talk to the principal. Ok...if you know me, then you know when I get really stressed or really angry, I cry. Crying seems to bother people, and I hate that. Today it was just stress boiling over the top and out through my eyes in the form of tears. The principal (who I really do love - she's been awesome) looks at me and says "Bless your heart." LOL I stopped crying and explained to her that I've been really stressed about school lately because things seem to be so negative with M. I went on to say that I think we need to change the way we deal with M, both at school and at home - to catch him doing good things instead of always highlighting the bad things. He has started to internalize that shit and feels like he can't do anything right.
She told me that 3rd grade can be a challenge for most kids, but then add on M's issues on top and it can be explosive. Yeah...ya think? I told her, kind of bluntly, that the reality of the situation is that while being in 3rd grade may mean one thing for the majority of kids, for MY kid, we may need to slow the roll and get him on a positive note before we try to transition him to being more of a 3rd grader. We talked about social stories, talking to the counselor to find positive things about himself, "community service" for when he does have inappropriate behavior, not getting to go see a favorite teacher as a consequence for inappropriate behavior....lots of stuff.
I kind of unloaded on her.
On another note, I feel badly for his teacher that she has to deal not only with him and his IEP, but other "different" kids and their quirks. I cannot imagine that she has an easy job, and I really hate to push this issue. But I have to be an advocate for my kids - nobody else is going to do it. And when I see my kid coming home with so-so days fairly consistently, that tells me that the system we have in place isn't working. I need for my kid to come home with good days so that he can feel positive about both himself and school. Being the kind of kid that he is, it's important to foster a pleasant feeling about school in general.
I hope I didn't go too far, but I fear I might have.
Monday, October 19, 2009
When reality comes slamming home
So today it was back to reality as I really haven't spent time with the family (read: the kids) this weekend. I went to pick up the kids from school and the lady calling numbers at carpool stops me and says M got written up 2x today, but our administrators are out sick, so you will get the papers tomorrow.
What did he get written up for? Well, I think one was something from last week that I already knew about. But the other one was for saying "son of a bitch" in the hall. He swears up and down that he didn't say it, that he said "son of a GUN" not the other. So I have an email in to his teacher to see what she says.
So I got all stressed out when the kids got in the car and pretty much grilled M to see what had happened. Then he decided he didn't want to do his homework when I wanted him to do it. But he's doing it now and I guess that's ok. At least he's doing it, right?
What I realized while walking into the house with the kids is that it is REALLY fucking hard to get back into the "work" mindset when you've been in the "fun, no responsibility" mindset for the past almost-4-days.
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Parenting the ADHD child
1. He's different. He's always going to be different, and damn, life would be so much easier if everyone could just accept that instead of trying to force him into some pigeonhole. HE WON'T FIT.
Different isn't bad. It's JUST DIFFERENT.
2. We have some serious parenting changes to make in the next week or so or the headbutting will continue. And yanno what? It's not fucking worth it. It gets us nowhere except really fucking angry at each other. And I don't want to be that person anymore.
3. I refuse REFUSE to put my child on more medication to make him more convenient for society. He, at 8 years old, takes between 3.5 and 4 pills a day. He needs to be able to develop and grow, with our guidance, and learn that he CAN stop and think and make good decisions without depending on more medication.
4. I need to get back into the mindset I used to have...patience, healthy food within our budget, supplements, reading about ways to help him (and me...we can all benefit from this) and putting all that into practice.
5. For my own mental stability, I need to ride more. I need that outlet.
There. That doesn't sound so hard, now does it?
Right.
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Friday, October 9, 2009
Best. Cake. Ever.
Anyboob, I'm making him the best. cake. ever. because it's his birthday and I like to treat people special on their birthday.
Why is this the best. cake. ever. you might ask? Well holy shit! Lemme tell ya friend. Better yet, lemme lay the 'cipe on ya.
1 box Swiss Chocolate or Butter Chocolate Cake Mix
1 small box instant vanilla pudding
1 melted Hershey bar
1 1/2 cups milk
1 cup oil
3 eggs
Mix and pour into 3 layers. Bake at 350 for 15 - 20 min; or 2 layers for 30 mintues.
THEN...while the cake is in the oven...
Beat until creamed (heh...I said creamed):
1 8oz package cream cheese, softened
1 cup powdered sugar
1/2 c plain sugar
Add 2 8oz containers cool whip (softened, obviously)
Stir with your spatula; add 3 grated Hershey bars (I highly recommend freezing them before you try to grate them).
Ice that bitch and eat.
You can eat it off each other for that special happy birthday or just off a plate is good too. Have some milk available cuz it's chocolatey goodness.
Thursday, October 8, 2009
Awesome...the scoop on poop
In any case, anything you've ever wondered about that glorious substance that we humans make tons of can be found here!
Wednesday, October 7, 2009
BMX Stunt-y Goodness
7/22/09 Wed Womens Ride - CSH/GMW
Slideshow:
Female Riders! Your Chance to Help by Riding
Here's some info about it from the website.
I'm gonna do my best to be out taking awesome and inspiring photos of these ladies giving their time and money to do this ride.
If you haven't signed up already, do it now!
The Ride
le Tour de Femme is a women's only full and half metric century bicycle ride scheduled for October 10, 2009 in Cary, North Carolina. le Tour de Femme is presented this year by Grab My Wheel to Benefit the LAnce Armstrong Foundation and the local Angel Fund of Rex Hospital.
The Event
The mission of our all women's ride is to raise community awareness and funding for Cancer Research and Cancer Survivorship programs. The ride is open to all female cyclist, at all skill levels, to participate in a ride of 15 miles, 31.2 miles or 62.4 miles in length. The post-ride celebration will allow or participants to celebrate their accomplishments while enjoying refreshments and intermingling with one another and sponsors.
Packet Pickup
Packet Pick up will start at 4:00pm this Friday at Cycling Spoken Here in Cary. Packet pick up will go until 10:30pm that night and reopen the following morning at 7:30am.
Monday, October 5, 2009
Fat Tire Festival
I love getting together with my biking friends! Seeing all the kids out there was awesome! And those 3 little guys on the striders...keep it up - y'all will be kickin' our asses on the trails in no time.
Just wanted to say how great a time I had and that I'm glad I got to go again this year. I look forward to next year! :D
Sunday, October 4, 2009
4th Annual Fat Tire Festival Photos
Here is the slideshow from flickr. Flickr was having major issues tonight and the photos are out of order. Grrr flickr.
Thursday, October 1, 2009
I have no idea how I found these, but....
click
Now, let's define irony.
How about the 10 most fascinating galaxies.
And now the Craziest Wall Hooks. I want the giant push pins and the hippo combo.
The most Creative Holders. I'm liking the human holders.
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
Don't Steal Bikes
The first one is a guy trying to steal about who gets caught. The second is 2 brothers "stealing" their own bike to see if anyone notices/does anything.
Interesting behavior.
Sunday, September 27, 2009
I think I'm in love with Andy Samberg
Lazy Sunday (Chronic-WHAT?-cles of Narnia)
Natalie Portman Raps about "A Day in the Life of Natalie Portman"
Why, God, why?
You think Crocs are bad? Check this shit out!
Stuff White People Like - funny shit
Don't let the name put you off.
This blog is hysterical...and perilously close to many truths in white culture.
As Yo Gabba Gabba says "try it, you might like it."
Linkage: Stuff White People Like
Obama wants kids in school for longer
I'm not fond of this idea. My older kid has enough issues and putting him in school for any longer during the day than he currently is would be detrimental not only to him, but to our family. Perhaps a better idea would be to look at how schools are structured currently and do a different job of targeting kids who show promise in certain areas. While this may sound strange coming from a history major, perhaps it's time we cut back on social studies, etc and spend longer in math, science music/art, and computer skills - which should include programming, etc.
If we put kids in school for so much longer per day or on weekends, when are we supposed to teach the things they need to know from us, their parents? Talk about stress! No way would I want to try to put the three or four hours of things we do every night into one or two. Not only that, but kids are not machines. They need time to relax, learn social skills by playing with other kids or parents and time to simply be kids.
Friday, September 25, 2009
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
Garner 4 Hour Endurance Race - 1st 20 pics
Monday, September 21, 2009
Made myself do it...and I'm glad
Woke up this morning coughing and sniffling but decided I was gonna go for a bike ride. The weather is GORGEOUS and I need to get back on the bike. I'm sooo huge...well, huger than normal...and I feel it. That's what makes it worse for me.
So I hopped on the bike, bout hacked up a lung on the first mile. Had to stop and adjust my seat angle (yay multitool!) cuz my womanly parts were screaming, and off I went. Just did 5 miles, but I think that's what I'm gonna keep with until I can do it without feeling winded.
Today was better than a couple weeks ago. I plumped up the back tire to about 35psi, left the front where it was (probably 32psi or so) and everything felt good. I did drink 2 week old water out of the camelbak. :shrugs: It didn't taste bad. :O
Overall it was a good ride and I'm glad I did it regardless of being sick. Sometimes you just gotta do shit. Yanno?
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
J's trip to the dentist today...not happy
I am finally told that J had fallen asleep after they numbed him and left him laying in the chair waiting for his teeth to numb. Then they attempted to wake him up and had a hard time doing so. So they assumed his behavior (crying, not cooperative) had to do with him being tired and "over-exerted" from exhaustion and going to school, and having nothing to do with the rather obvious fact that they woke him up from a nap. Think about how you react when you wake up from a too-short nap in a strange place. I always feel confused and grumpy...'course I'm 37 and know I can't act out how I feel at being so rudely woken. At 5? I'd expect exactly what they got. A kid who was crying, out of it, mouth hurting and not understanding what's going on.
So I get in there and he starts crying (of course!) and I try to calm him. The whole time the fucking dentist is sitting over my kid telling him to stop yelling and shining the god damned light in his face. J is squirming in the chair telling the guy "my tooth hurts" and "I wanna go back to sleep." The dentist tells me that there's "no way his tooth hurts because he's numb and isn't feeling anything." Oh yeah? You know that for sure? How bout yesterday when you thought *I* was numb. Guess what fucker? I wasn't. So now you KNOW how numb someone is? Especially a 5 year old child? I'm sorry, but I'd err on the side of caution when you don't know for sure.
So the dentist tries to put one of those long oval cotton pads in J's mouth and J has a fit. Dentist says "J stop yelling. I can't have you yelling in here, I have other patients." Then when J puts his hand up to his mouth, the dentist pushes his hand down away from his mouth. I could see that the hygienist and the dentist were both about to lose it. The dentist says "I'm going to have to refer him to a pediatric dentist because I just can't have a kid acting like *this* in my office. He's obviously exhausted and can't be here right now. We'll have to put in a temporary filling in the tooth and whoever takes care of him after this can put the permanent one in." No shit...cuz none of my family is EVER going back to that fucking place again.
It only gets better. When we walk out to the front to pay for the work they could do, J walks over to the toys. The lady tells him he can't have one! WHAT. THE. FUCK? Are you serious lady? My kid is scared shitless now (thank you very fucking much) and he can't have one of your .02 toys to help him calm down? He asks "Why?" And I answered (yes...wrong answer, but I was so pissed by this point that I couldn't keep my mouth shut) "because you weren't good." I don't think they liked my answer. He starts crying again and I said to him "you didn't do anything wrong. You were scared, had just woken up, and you didn't do anything wrong." A couple minutes later, the hygienist says "He can have a toy if you want him to." I said "Whatever...if HE wants one, he can have one."
Needless to say, none of us will ever go back to that dentist. His bedside manner is non-existent.
OH! And I asked the lady about the charge for yesterday and she looked at my chart and said "Oh, there shouldn't be a charge for yesterday! It was just an occlusial adjustment." So I asked her why I was told there would be a charge yesterday. "Oh...I just made a mistake." WHAT? You looked at the same fucking thing you looked at yesterday and NOW it's a mistake? Funny how then she tells me that even though she's deleted the entry to the insurance for the charge from yesterday, that it still might go through and that "if" they get a check she'll make sure to return it.
Something smells fishy in Denmark people. Very fucking fishy.
My mother wants me to write a letter to the dental board...county, state...and copy the dentist's office.
I'm just beyond pissed about this and my kid has to go to yet another dentist...he doesn't want me to write a note because the dentist is "mean and yucky" and he might hurt me. :(
Fuckers.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Bike Ride! YEAH!!!
And the weather wasn't half bad either. ;)
Friday, September 4, 2009
Took the kidlets on a ride today
Friday, August 28, 2009
Monday, August 17, 2009
Sunday, August 16, 2009
6GB of love
For those of you wondering *why* it's called Race at the Reactor, lemme tell ya. Here in central NC, there's a nuclear power plant. Used to be called Shearon Harris Nuclear Facility, now it's just called Harris Nuclear Plant. Here's a link to the wikipedia entry. Harris Lake provides water for cooling. Progress Energy (used to be known as CP&L) provided the land on which Harris Lake County Park is located...so it's all a nice big circle of helpfulness between Wake County and Progress Energy...giving back to the community and all that.
ANYWAY...I had a good time shooting out at the race. Got to hang out and talk to some peeps I don't see all that often and got to get some great shots (at least I hope they're great) of the participants. I always love shooting those shots where the riders can see the finish line. You can see in their faces that they are soooo done, but they put that last bit of effort in to ride over the finish line. I'll try to post some shots tonight...but I have got to pick a sink, toilet and fixtures for the bathroom remodel! Oy.
Saturday, August 8, 2009
To learn how you can snap pictures and capture videos with your wireless phone visit www.verizonwireless.com/picture.
Note: To play video messages sent to email, QuickTime® 6.5 or higher is required.
Wednesday, July 29, 2009
Shit.
I decided this morning I would ride. Trails at Harris are closed due to wet conditions, so around the neighborhood I went. Fuckin' 2 miles before I was toast. TWO FUCKING MILES! I guess I shouldn't expect to be able to ride a normal 10 mile ride if I haven't ridden in over a month...but 2 miles? Jesus. That's just embarrassing.
And the funny part is that it wasn't my legs that made me quit. They were fine and probably could have gone another few miles. It was the pain in my side that made me stop.
Oh well...I'll just have to get back to that level by riding more. I can do it...and even though this ride was pretty much not fun, on some level it was still enjoyable.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Breathe
"and all you touch and all you see/is all your life will ever be"
It's so easy to limit ourselves by what we are comfortable with. We generally only touch and see what we want to...and that is all our lives will ever be, if we so allow it.
Well, I want more. I want knowledge, experience...things I wouldn't normally see or touch. I don't want to become comfortably numb (another great PF song) in my own existence...limited by the lines I draw around myself.
Lyrics:
Breathe, breathe in the air
Don't be afraid to care
Leave but don't leave me
Look around and choose your own ground
For long you live and high you fly
And smiles you'll give and tears you'll cry
And all you touch and all you see
Is all your life will ever be
Run, rabbit, run
Dig that hole, forget the sun,
And when at last the work is done
Don't sit down, its time to dig another one
For long you live and high you fly
But only if you ride the tide
And balanced on the biggest wave
You race toward an early grave.
Sunday, July 26, 2009
Sports Photography
Why was this race so difficult for me to shoot? A couple reasons, I think. Firstly, it is VERY shaded there. As in so shaded that what sunlight gets through is dappled and not consistent. I didn't walk the whole race course, but from what I know of Crabtree, there really aren't any places that get good open shade light. It's either full sunlight (which I would have paid for today) or the dappled stuff I mentioned. So I was at a bit of a disadvantage already as I don't have good low light equipment. I can use my 50mm prime lens, which stops down to 1.8, but then I'm limited in my range because it only has one option - 50mm. My 18 - 55mm lens stops down to 3.5/5.6, but I had a hard time with that as well for most of the morning, unless I bumped my ISO up to 400...which is what I ended up doing. I have a long lens, but it has the same max f/stop as the 18 - 55.
So the other thing I could have done was use my flash. And I did on occasion, but the problem with my flash is that it takes a bit for the flash to recharge, and mountain biking is fast paced stuff. You can't sit there and wait for your flash to recharge and not miss stuff. I'm referring to my on-camera flash, btw. I have a small hot shoe flash, but I don't think it recharges very quickly either. I just got it, so I'm not for sure about it.
So I saw all these other people taking photos and was almost embarrassed at my equipment. Then I reminded myself that it is not the equipment that makes the shot, but the person using the equipment and whether they know what they are doing. Not that I always know, but I try, and I've learned a lot in the past few months. One thing I did notice was that most of them had hot shoe flashes, and what looked like diffusers over them. They had the kind that could be swiveled up and down for better light control - mine doesn't swivel. It's just a little guy a bit more powerful than the on-camera.
Something else that I did notice...and maybe it's just me being me...I like to move around when I shoot. Try different angles, get nice panning shots, etc. A couple of the photogs I saw there were literally in one spot for the entire race (3+ hours) - with the exception of going to the starting line at each stage of the race. I don't understand that...I'm not knocking it, I'm just trying to figure out how that could be fun for them. To get the same shot every time. My question then becomes, is that what "real" photography is about? Getting the perfect shot? Or is it about trying different things? Or maybe it's just personal preference.
Anyway, I had a good time despite the fucking heat...it was OPPRESSIVE today. I got lots of good shots and met some new people, got to hang with some people I don't get to see often. It was good.
I'm just sorry I didn't catch Kim before she left so I could give her the bracelet...that I actually brought this time. ;)
Saturday, July 25, 2009
Check out the awesome write up at singletracks.com!
For those who don't want to click, here's the text:
Bike Part Jewelry from Designs by Jodey
posted July 24, 2009 by mudhunny
I’ve always been proud to show off my wounds and scars from mountain bike crashes, but there is actually a much easier way to show off my love for the sport. Bike part jewelry is a really unique way to take a little bit of your mountain bike with you (literally) anywhere you choose to wear it and it makes for a great gift too.
I was super excited to see the wide variety of handcrafted jewelry designs that Designs by Jodey has created from bike parts. Jodey, a mountain biker herself, makes bracelets, necklaces, earrings, bookmarks, and keychains out of new and used bike parts. It was hard to decide on just one piece but I finally chose a custom sized Double Row Chain Link Bracelet. The chain link is such a classic and obvious representation of a bicycle part - I didn’t want anyone to mistake this as just another ordinary bracelet.
When I read that Jodey used worn bicycle parts for her jewelry, I was a little skeptical. I wondered if I was going to end up with dirt and grease rubbing off on my wrists or clothes. On the contrary, the silver chain link plates in my bracelet are clean and shiny! The cool thing is I can tell they aren’t new due to the characteristic scratches and friction marks. Sometimes I like to imagine the killer trails this chain saw in its former life - if only chain link plates could talk.
The bracelet also uses black bike chain rollers in between the chain link plates. I really like the contrast of the black and silver which makes each part stand out and together, well, it just works. The toggle clasp is a complementary gunmetal color and makes getting the bracelet on and off easy with your single opposing hand.
The fact that this bracelet has a really simple and unique design using recycled bike chains make this one of my favorite everyday pieces to wear. I got complements the first time I wore this bracelet to work and I’m proud to wear it most casual Fridays. It also goes great with the little black dress ;-)
Just like the little black dress, every girl that rides mountain bikes needs bike part jewelry. You can order the jewelry on Jodey’s website, www.designsbyjodey.com. And guys, when you’re buying bike jewelry for your lady friends you can also check out men’s bike part necklaces and bracelets for yourself too!
Thursday, July 23, 2009
Like Star Wars or Indiana Jones? Legos, maybe? Check these out!
Do it. Do it. Do it.
Tuesday, July 21, 2009
WeeehooooO! Got in the local bead store!
:D
Monday, July 20, 2009
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Overwhelmed by My Bathroom
It's a small room, and I want to stay within a certain budget..probably in the $3000 range. One main problem is what to do about the bathroom vanity. It's an odd size - 54" cabinet, so 55" top. It has one bowl in the center. The top portion needs to be replaced because the sink part is damaged. But to get a top that size would be at least $600. We could get a whole new vanity and top for the about the same price, but the vanity would be 48" instead of 54". Not a huge difference, but 6" is 6".
The couple guys I had out here last week to give me estimates on the work (before the insurance guy came) both said we should think about getting ceramic tile on the floor instead of linoleum or vinyl tiles.
I want to do something a little different in the bathroom - put something not vanilla in there. Like a design around the floor with some smaller tiles, or tile the shower with a design in it, but hubs says "just cuz we like something doesn't mean the next people who buy the house will." So what, I'm supposed to not decorate my bathroom the way I want to because some possible buyers of a house we aren't even talking about selling might not like it? I don't agree with that. I don't want the fucking thing to be purple...just not all bland and boring, yanno?
Oh - one other thing. Instead of the tub/shower combo that we currently have, hubs wants just a shower with a bench. I guess that's ok with me, but that is something that may affect resale value and is not easily changed. I mean, don't people still like tubs in their master baths?
Anyone who has done a bathroom makeover, please gimme some advice. Where did you start? What did you base your color scheme off of? I'm overwhelmed with this. Pictures would be good too. Before and after?
Friday, July 17, 2009
When you're on the trail and you need a little fix...
:o
Thursday, July 16, 2009
I'm studying English and I like the mtb
Here is the original thread. clicky clicky
Say it ain't so...Crocs on their last legs?
The Beer Belly and The Wine Rack
And in the rack dept, I'm set, thanks. But if you aren't, try this: wine rack.
Good stuff.
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
My Jewelry in a couple stores!
For the next week or so, check out my jewelry at Cycling Spoken Here in Cary, NC:
Tuesday, July 14, 2009
15 Minute Lunch: CYC - Cover Your Cough
15 Minute Lunch: CYC.
Saturday, July 11, 2009
Local cyclist killed today :(
Cyclist killed in collision with vehicle in Apex
Bruce W. Rosar killed in bicycle and vehicle collision
Posted: Today at 12:46 p.m.
Updated: 52 minutes ago
Apex, N.C. — A bicyclist was killed after a collision involving a vehicle on S. Salem Street near the Apex Peakway just after noon on Saturday, Apex police said.
The cyclist was identified as Bruce W. Rosar, 52, of Cary.
Police Capt. Ann Stephens said a preliminary investigation shows the vehicle was traveling south on Salem Street and the bicycle was going north on Salem Street. The cyclist turned left toward the Apex Peakway and crossed into the path of the vehicle.
Stephens said the vehicle involved in the wreck stopped at the scene.
While some witnesses were interviewed at the scene, Stephens said there appears to be several vehicles may have witnessed the accident but did not stop.
Anyone who witnessed the wreck is asked to call the Apex Police Department at 919-362-8661.
Rosar, the owner of Triangle Roadway Bicycling, had been bicycling in the Triangle for more than two decades, according to his Web site. He served as the director of the North Carolina Active Transportation Alliance and was a founding member of the NC Coalition for Bicycle Driving.
In recent weeks, the police department seen an increase in cyclists in the area. Police have also seen more complaints from motorists that cyclists are not following the rules of the road, Stephens said.
Over the past month, Stephens said police have started a campaign to make cyclists aware of the dangers on the road and remind them that they are required by law to follow the same rules of the road as motorists.
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Brief Turtle Invasion at JFK
By DAVID B. CARUSO, Associated Press Writer David B. Caruso, Associated Press Writer – Wed Jul 8, 4:12 pm ET
NEW YORK – A runway at New York City's Kennedy Airport was shut down Wednesday morning after 78 turtles emerged from the bay and crawled onto the tarmac.
The Port Authority of New York and New Jersey says grounds crews rounded up the wayward reptiles in about 35 minutes and deposited them back in the water, further from airport property.
The shutdown disrupted flight schedules, though, with delays climbing to nearly 1 1/2 hours.
Pilots reported the first turtle sightings at around 8:30 a.m.
The Port Authority identified the turtles as Diamondback Terrapins. They appeared to be about 8 inches long and weigh 2 to 3 pounds each
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
United Breaks Guitars
Thursday, July 2, 2009
The Pudding Experiment
He and I had decided prior that we would make layered cups, where the lemon would be on the bottom and the chocolate would be on top. So our hypothesis was that the pudding would end up layered, after cooking per directions on the respective boxes, and pouring directly into cups after cooking.
So we started the lemon pudding first (and I had no idea that lemon pudding has no milk in it, but does have egg yolk and sugar in it!). Once that was cooking, we mixed up the chocolate pudding (which seemed to be at least double the amount of the lemon, as we got a big box of chocolate and a small box of lemon) and started to cook it. The lemon pudding finished cooking first, so we started pouring it into clear plastic cups (b/c we wanted to be able to see the layers)...big mistake. Duh Jodey - plastic melts at high temps. We immediately saw the problem and I got out glass dishes. We poured the lemon pudding into them (no exact measuring, but they all appeared to be around the same volume of pudding per dish. We left them alone while the chocolate pudding continued to cook.
Moving right along...the chocolate finished cooking and we poured it onto the lemon layer in each cup. What we *expected* to happen was that each cup would have 1 layer of lemon at the bottom and then a layer of chocolate at the top - NO MIXING. In actuality, and what I find pretty damn strange, is that the first cup we started pouring the chocolate into did NOT layer. Instead, it was almost like a pudding cake, where the chocolate pudding disappeared inside the lemon pudding. In my mind, this shouldn't have happened as this was the first cup of lemon to be poured, thus it had the longest amount of time to cool. Each subsequent pouring of chocolate pudding onto lemon pudding resulted in the expected layers...it was just the first one that didn't layer.
Odd...but I'm sure there's some easy explanation for it. Maybe it had a tad more lemon pudding than the others, thus needed longer to cool in order for the surface tension to be strong enough to support a layer of hot pudding on top of it.
Or...sometimes pudding is just pudding.
Whatever, chocolate and lemon are NOT good together, but separately they rock. If only we had some heavy whipping cream...
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Monday, June 29, 2009
Saturday, June 27, 2009
This one gave me pause...
Kids are...interesting...creatures. Are they not? :D
Friday, June 26, 2009
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
Pics from the Trail Trash/TORC Kids Skillz Clinic
This was a great day - I had a blast. Got to teach and help...2 things I love to do. Very fulfilling day.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
English From Around the World
In a Bangkok temple:
IT IS FORBIDDEN TO ENTER A WOMAN, EVEN A FOREIGNER, IF DRESSED AS A MAN.
Cocktail lounge, Norway:
LADIES ARE REQUESTED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN IN THE BAR.
Doctors office, Rome:
SPECIALIST IN WOMEN AND OTHER DISEASES.
Dry cleaners, Bangkok:
DROP YOUR TROUSERS HERE FOR THE BEST RESULTS.
In a Nairobi restaurant:
CUSTOMERS WHO FIND OUR WAITRESSES RUDE OUGHT TO SEE THE MANAGER.
On the main road to Mombassa, leaving Nairobi:
TAKE NOTICE: WHEN THIS SIGN IS UNDER WATER, THIS ROAD IS IMPASSABLE.
On a poster at Kencom:
ARE YOU AN ADULT THAT CANNOT READ? IF SO WE CAN HELP.
In a City restaurant:
OPEN SEVEN DAYS A WEEK AND WEEKENDS.
In a cemetery:
PERSONS ARE PROHIBITED FROM PICKING FLOWERS FROM ANY BUT THEIR OWN GRAVES.
Tokyo hotel's rules and regulations:
GUESTS ARE REQUESTED NOT TO SMOKE OR DO OTHER DISGUSTING BEHAVIOURS IN BED.
On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:
OUR WINES LEAVE YOU NOTHING TO HOPE FOR.
In a Tokyo bar:
SPECIAL COCKTAILS FOR THE LADIES WITH NUTS.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Monday, June 15, 2009
Ride #2 with hubs
Current conditions:
WRAL-TV Studios
Temperature 79°F
Dew Point 70°F
Relative Humidity 76%
Heat Index 82°F
Wind Northeast 4 mph
Pressure 30.09 Pressure Rising
Precip since midnight 0"
Recorded at 11:45 a.m., Jun 15, 2009
Sunday, June 14, 2009
Finished my ride...
Weather Conditions - a bit hot and somewhat humid:
WRAL-TV Studios
Temperature 84°F
Dew Point 67°F
Relative Humidity 57%
Heat Index 87°F
Wind Northeast 2 mph
Pressure 30.03 Pressure Falling
Precip since midnight 0"
Recorded at 5:40 p.m., Jun 14, 2009
But for not having ridden anything over 4 miles in the past month, I'm thinking 10 miles in 68 minutes ain't half bad. :D
I did notice that carrying an extra 10 pounds of body weight makes a HUGE difference. Damn it. :(
Damn...I LOVE riding.
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Pics from Briar Chapel/National Trail Day Shindig
OMG! New tat idea!!!
***wants so many more tats...hubs will shit***
***wants a nasal piercing too...sigh***
Sunday, June 7, 2009
Ride with hubs
At the beginning, I was so ON...it was great! I was riding things I never ride - I don't think I got off the bike at all until we got to the beginning of loop 2. I had forgotten how hilly and rooty loop 2 is. And not having ridden the trails for a LONG time, I was T-I-R-E-D by then. Then one of my cables came loose and was rubbing against my tire, so hubs fixed that. Then my seat got all crazy on me and was sinking and falling and moving...we never did get that straightened out. Once that stuff started happening, I lost my bike mojo. I was pissed at myself for getting psyched out, but not at all surprised. So I walked a bit of loop 2.
What really surprised me was how freaking tired I was! I can ride 13 road miles no problem - we did 3 trail miles and I was DONE. WTF? But I'll continue to do both, I think. I've come to realize that I enjoy riding on road - it's the freedom to ride right from the house and away from my issues...the calm that comes with just pedaling and feeling the sun on my face and the breeze...But I think I enjoy it differently than trail riding. They are...different. Both fun in their own way.
Anyway, hubs and I had a pretty good time, despite my pissiness and issues during the ride. It still rubs me the wrong way that he can achieve so much in 2 trail rides and it's taken me almost a year to get where I am. But we are different people, have different riding styles and different goals, I suppose. I'm riding because *I* like to ride, just as he is. And we don't have to prove anything to each other.
We just have to ride. :)
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Monday, June 1, 2009
Protect Your Junk
It's chamois cream. You should check the site out - there's some funny shit on there. My favorite is this:
So really guys - protect your junk. Have your lady be your "official applicator."
Sunday, May 31, 2009
Atlantic Beach with the kids, 5/16/09
Click on the photo if you want to see a description of what/who is in the photo.
Enjoy!
Thursday, May 28, 2009
MCAS Cherry Point Air Show Photos!!
Enjoy! (If you go directly to my flickr acct, you can see my comments on what types of aircraft are in the photos, if hubs knew).
Happy Kid
Hubs took the day off to put up the pool, and we were hoping to take him on his first trail ride at Harris...but it was closed due to wet conditions (as was Crabtree). So we decided to go ride the American Tobacco Trail again. He'd ridden it before, but not on the new bike. Since our older son was home (he's still tracked out from year round school), we took him too. He LOVES to ride.
Hubs and I figured it'd be a fairly short ride since M was coming with us, and we were right. We stopped probably 6 times for one thing or another, but all told, we rode 4 miles. I am SO PROUD of my kid for riding that far! He has never ridden more than a couple miles, so this is his personal best. He even rode almost all the way up the hill back to the parking lot (we parked at the closer trailhead...not usually where I park)! He got frustrated at the end because it was raining and he was tired and couldn't make it all the way up the hill, but I headed that tantrum off by telling him how awesome it was that he had ridden that far and what a proud mommy I was. Then...
...he told us about the frog he put in his pack. He was all excited about the baby frogs that were ALL OVER the place and picked some up during our various stops along the ride. Apparently he found a big frog and slipped it into the outside pocket of his hydration pack...once we found out about it, we made him let the frog go. It was a cool frog, though. :D Boys...
And on a more personal note, I rode up the damn hill...go me!
It was a good ride. Hubs got to wear his new biking shoes and clipped in for the whole ride. He liked it. Kid did a long ride. I got out and rode. All good things.
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Tuesday, May 26, 2009
Retest of Sriracha
I had tofu and veggies cooked and ready to be plated, and hubs walks over to the stove and plucks out a piece of veggie. He pops it in his mouth and nods his head at me. About 3 seconds later I hear "haaaaaa" "hhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa" "HAAAAAA" and he beelines to the sink for some water. He looks at me and says "that is TOO spicy."
I've always liked my food spicier than him, so I got a piece of veggie and ate it...and it was PERFECT. Nice and spicy, just the way I like it.
I made less veggies tonight and put more Sriracha on it. I was actually afraid I'd used too much - I like spicy food, but I also like to be able to TASTE it. Spice should enhance the flavor of the food, not mask it. In my opinion, Sriracha walks a fine line in that regard. It's not as flavorful as Cholula, but it's still good...provided you use enough of it.
I'll keep using it for sure - and I'll tell my Dad about it too. I'm sure he'll enjoy it.
dinner covered in Sriracha...and yes, that is a shit load of garlic on the top. I had to use the jarred stuff cuz my bulbs started growing. :(
Monday, May 25, 2009
Sriracha vs Cholula...results
The results? Meh.
I'd had Sriracha recently, in my hibachi chicken at a wonderful restaurant called Tsunami Buffet in Morehead City, NC on the weekend we went to the MCAS Cherry Point Air Show. It was spicy, but not overpowering and had a good taste. I liked it. So when a friend pointed me to an article about it a few days ago, I went to my local Wally Hell and bought a bottle...$2, or some ridiculously low price for a pretty large bottle. Cholula is $2.67 for a 5oz bottle, Sriracha comes in a 17oz bottle.
I usually put a liberal dousing of Cholula on my veggies/tofu because I love spicy food, but not being familiar with how much Sriracha I would need, it's likely I didn't put enough in. I will try it again, hopefully with better results. I can *just* taste the spice in the aftertaste of the food, and that's not spicy enough for me.
Spoke Nipples - sigh
I've found a few that are either 50% or 100% more expensive then the ones I got from the LBS a couple weeks ago. I called that store today to get 100 more and was told the price I got them at was not accurate.
I've been looking around for a couple hours - comparing prices, including shipping - and can't find any that aren't a lot more expensive, percentage-wise, at least. Guess I'ma have to suck it up and pay more. :(
Sunday, May 24, 2009
How to make homemade cough syrup
No more drinky for me. :(
Saturday, May 23, 2009
Huge Penis Funnies
So here are the things I found.
For my Mom, because she just rocks and would totally put this in the guest bathroom, I want this: Flying Hanging Man with Huge Penis
For my Dad, because he needs to know the history of things, I'd get this book: A Mind of Its Own, A Cultural History of the Penis (in hardcover, mind you)
For the hell of it:
Men Are From Penis
And my absolute favorite:
Youporn Sex Positions 101 For Short and Long Penis
From a search on Yahoo! for "huge penis"...
OMFG - I just found this shit...
Woody the Penis Pipe:
BWAAHAAAAA! I WANT THIS - I'd totally put it on a necklace!
Penis, fat one, about 6" long, made of Resin for Pendant: And the description reads: "6-8" long Penis Pendant, holed for adding rope or string for a necklace. let it hang down, wear it around your belt, or use it for anything else you may wish....made of resin...brittle!" "...brittle!"...so don't stick it anywhere?
Friday, May 22, 2009
Why I lurve MTBR
I <3 this thread...but I also just drank a rather large glass of diet mountain dew and smirnoff citrus.
Here's a photo of said drink, for posterity:
Cheesus cracked my ass up.
Thursday, May 21, 2009
Vacation - Days Four and Five
Day 4 slideshow, 10 photos:
Day 5 slideshow, 38 photos:
PS - if you go directly to my flickr account, you can see a description for each photo, and you can also see it larger. I recommend you view these as big as possible to see all the amazing details.